Re-branding the maligned Twinkie

     Twinkie: The next exotic fantasy
   

 Slabs of sugar-laden sponge cake filled with fluffy, sugary cream center, packaged in a plain brown paper wrapper, smuggled into a shopping cart near you. No one admits to eating Twinkies, buying a twin-pack and scarfing both on the way home from Wal-Mart. I don't know a soul who would confess to such irresponsible health-behavior.Who would pack Twinkies in a child's lunch?
     Natural sugars found in fresh fruits and sometimes in vegetables are acceptable as snack foods, those items and tree bark dipped in kudzu butter. Sugar-added fruit fillings for pies and tarts receive a thumbs down from health experts.
     Hostess brand needs to hire the market specialists from Ghirardelli. Dark chocolate is "good for you," so Twinkies could be a mood enhancement miracle. Instead of a Snickers bar, the commercial would suggest "Go Eat a Twinkie...you'll feel better!"
       Red wine is "heart healthy." Dipping a Twinkie in red wine could bring a whole new meaning to "dessert wine," (ala Frenchy in the movie Grease).
      Once singled out as the absolute cause of ADHD, Twinkies got a bad rap from parents. These parents, whose children got a Twinkie-a-Day in their lunch boxes, blamed the sugar-laced treat enhanced with chemical preservatives for the behaviors that drove teachers stark-raving mad during afternoon classes.
     The health conscious extremists might throw boxes of Twinkies onto a raging fire, hoping to rid the world of such unhealthy concoctions. However, connoisseurs of the sweet delicacy could catch a whiff, breathe in the aroma of warming cake and creamy vanilla filling. Reminiscent of Smores and a campfire, sweet lovers imagine a dessert delicacy: warmed Twinkie pieces dipped in milk chocolate fondue.
     An entrepreneur should consider opening a Twinkie Shoppe specializing in various flavored cream: plain vanilla cream injected with shots of cherry, mint, strawberry, caramel, etc. If jelly beans come in various flavors, the sky's the limit for Twinkies. OPI Colors (fashion nail polish) are suggestive of the names for the new Twinkies for sale in Shoppes around the country: Peach for the Sky, This Cost Me a Mint, Chick Flick Cherry, Tiramisu for Two. The Berry Thought of You. 
     The new Twinkie could be competitively priced with fancy, all-the-rage cupcakes; even the health gurus would bite.
     Move over GiGi, there's a new Twinkie in town.