Your Honor, May I Approach the Bench?

"How do you plead?" asked the judge, who was not the same as the cop who gave me the ticket.
"Very unintentionally guilty, Sir," I replied.
"It's always that way," he remarked.
"I'd like to request that the ticket not go on my record."
"Already done, Ma'm"
"And might I have the amount reduced?..."since I'm on a fixed income...retired," I wondered.
"No.  I don't do it for anyone. And you don't look like you are doing too badly, retired on that fixed income."
Best to leave well enough alone.
"Thank you, Sir."
"Pay when they call your name.  Until then, have a seat."
And such was my adventure at the Lepanto City Hall, along with 50 other culprits whose crimes ranged from disobeying the burn ban, driving without brake lights, speeding, and disorderly conduct, 2nd degree battery, shoplifting.  A whole group of locals were admonished not to be within 100 feet of the other.  Trial set for October 30.  Tell your story to the Judge then, not today.
I did not realize how relieved I'd be to have that ticket out of the way...even at the tune of a gazillion bucks. 
"Christmas won't be Christmas without presents," mumbled Jane as she counted out her cash to the clerk in Lepanto, AR.

BTW, I am taking Romeo (my moisture stricken laptop computer) to the Funeral Home in Piggott.  Not for a casket, I hope, but there is a guy who comes highly recommended by my friend Lucy at the Rector Post Office.  She says he can fix my computer.  I called him and he said he'd take a look at Romeo and order the keyboard and fix him right up.  I got so tickled telling Pam that I was taking my computer to a repairman who works out of the Piggott Funeral Home.  How small town is that?

The "Eeency-Weency Spider"

      A little dab will do ya!  Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down! A pinch of salt, a tad of this and a bit of that, just a hint of color, or a touch….not much, just a “smidgen.”   I don't care what size the spider is....neither does a computer care how much Diet Coke is suspended in mid-air around its keyboard.
     That’s all that’s required…a dot, a dab, a "smidgen".. of Diet Coke to get the keyboard of my laptop shorted out and the whole thing off to the HP Hospital in God Knows Where to the tune of about a zillion dollars, probably half of what the laptop cost in the first place.  I’ve called around.  I’ve checked.  Not good.
    
     Take the “moisture insurance”- no matter the cost.  I could have spilled the entire contents of the tiny plastic bottle which rested precariously upon the mouse pad from NASA (I Need My Space!).  There was but a teensy swallow left when I put the bottle down, and “ooopsy-daisy!” (Sh..#!#)  I grabbed it (the bottle and the computer), wiped the keyboard free of the, what, maybe 5 sprinkles of the vile substance.  No good did that do.  Whatever “moisture” seeped into the keyboard did the damage, even with my response time being that of a NASA engineer.

      So, tomorrow, upon my return from COURT in Lepanto, AR (another story), I will “swing by Jonesboro” and get the GEEK Squad to send “Romeo” to the HP hospital.  I call him “Romeo” because I spend so much quality time with him in the evenings.  He is usually sitting on my lap or right beside my chair, waiting for me.  I feel very much alone without him.  Bad, huh?

     So, as a dedicated scribe, I will continue to share my stories with you faithful readers, from the downstairs office area and the desktop computer.  No Diet Coke or Diet Green Tea is in sight. I should have at least bought the silicone keyboard protector, even if the plastic cover did not fit.  I have the screen protector….where was my brain???????

     And to think that Pam went swimming for 45 minutes with her cell phone in her swim outfit and that phone is still ticking today - it did not die.  I sprinkle dear “Romeo” with but a few drops of Diet Coke, and life as he and I knew it is over!  John Cameron Swayze (Patrick's Father????), where is the much needed Timex version of a laptop computer?  "It takes a licking and keeps on ticking!"

                          At least Romeo has a brother.

      I’ll share my Lepanto Court adventure with you in my next blog.  I can only hope it will not be told as I scribble upon prison-provided letter paper, as Emerson and plenty of other scholars have similarly penned their philosophies, “Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage.” 

I've Got the Music in Me

            Nancy Chaney lived across the hall from me one summer at Henderson State in the wild and wonderful 1966-1970 era. Nancy is the friend who had the portable TV powered by an extension cord from her room. We pointed the rabbit ears toward New York City or Little Rock for better reception!  Our end of the hall would be packed with girls as we gathered to watch Tom Jones rotate his hips in tight pants and sing “My, my, my Delilah!” 
          Nancy grew up in the vicinity of Delight, AR. She said her family knew Glen Campbell. Nancy also told us that Glen Campbell did not win the County Fair or High School Talent Show when he was a young teen. Glen did not finish high school, dropping out in 10^th grade, since there were no courses in writing, singing, or playing music.  He could bear down on a mean guitar and his mellow voice could croon the tunes, though.
         Tonight, we are going to the Glen Campbell Farewell Tour at the ASU Convocation Center in Jonesboro.  I went to the Cher Farewell Tour in Memphis at the Pyramid and many patrons were costumed in her honor, but as I have never owned any cowgirl (or boy) boots, I’ll have to pass for tonight’s show.  Rhinestone earrings would be about as far as I could go.  I’d love to wear a flimsy short dress with leggings, and cowboy boots with a long strand of rhinestones around my neck but I’m too old by 30 years. (Hmmm, we could take a vote on that!)
         Glen, you know, has Alzheimer’s.  His children are accompanying him on this tour, playing banjo, guitar, and drums and say that they’ll keep going as long as their dad gets pleasure from the experience.  Sometimes he forgets what song has been played, but his daughter gently leads him onto the next.  I think it’s that love as much as anything that I wish to honor by attending the concert.  He’s from Arkansas and his talent is superior with the guitar.  His studio time is well documented with plenty of famous singers, including an on-stage stint with The Beach Boys. His songs such as Gentle on My Mind, Wichita Lineman, Rhinestone Cowboy, etc. crossed the line from country to pop. We’ve heard that he nails each of his songs, that he knocks each one out of the park!  I hope the Convo is filled to give a salute to a wonderful musician from Arkansas.

"I Won!!!! - Something!!!"

The White County Creative Writers 17th Annual Writers' Conference held at Harding University Campus sponsored a New Writer Contest, among 12 other contests.  This contest subject was a "storm story" either true or fiction.  I won 2nd place!  It's a milestone for me, the first time I entered a writing contest and won - anything!  I don't know how many entries there were or what kind of real competition existed, but I really don't care!  "I won, I won, I won - something!"  My story is entitled, "I'll Have 2 Krystals" and is a somewhat fictionalized account of a trip several of us made to Huntsville, Alabama, in the middle of a tornado outbreak.  I have published it in JOURNEYS - to the right.  Hope you'll enjoy it!

NOT A GRINCH!

Age and Health.  This post is Good News.  You can read on in peace.
Marvin's twin brother experienced a heart attack in January.  He is fine, but his ordeal and subsequent follow-up care served as a wake-up call to us.  How long had it been since Marvin visited the Stern Clinic?  Hmmmm. 5 years.  Time for a check-up.
The tests are far more sophisticated than they were even 5 years ago.  New tests have been added and more combined tests are performed.  Thank Goodness for SCS Insurance Benefit for Retirees.  Don't ever take that for granted!
After the nurse took him off the treadmill test when his BP spiked, we became concerned.  Well, turns out, that spike in BP was fairly normal.  After a week, Dr. Heart Specialist's secretary called to say - "He has a Perfect Heart."  It may be larger than most given the kind of work he's done all his life, but there is Not One Thing wrong with this man's heart.
It took a lot of money and days and tests to state in one sentence what I could have told them, from my perspective.
Marvin's Heart is huge with a capacity for love and tenderness like I have never experienced. He is so easily touched and moved emotionally with stories of family and sacrifice.  It is also a complicated heart, bruised and wounded through years of living. X-rays and CT scans do not reveal scar-tissue and caloused areas built up to cover pain.  His mouth sometimes betrays his heart, but who among us has not had that happen? Marvin's big, tough-guy persona and old-time, long-held value system puts a different picture out in public, sometimes, but I am here to state unequivocally, if anything is wrong with his heart, it's that it is 2 SIZES TOO LARGE.
Other Health News:
I'm fine!  Exercising and losing some stress weight, I hope.  I am cooking healthy stuff, cutting down on Diet Coke, eliminating fat-filled goey chocolate desserts, catfish and hushpuppies, and planning to live for a very long time.
Another Hallelujah health report comes from my dear friend Anita Simmons. She had been incognito for a while, but called me 2 weeks ago.  I felt like a piece of MY heart had been found and reinserted, making it whole once again. She is doing well and had a negative breast biopsy from tests last Wednesday.
Prayer requests for Lorraine Griffin.  She is fighting cancer which was well-advanced when discovered.
Try to remember that DARK CHOCOLATE is MEDICINALLY RECOMMENDED.

CAUTION: "Your Phone May Be Smarter Than It Looks"

Yep, we have new phones.  Both of us have DROIDS, RAZR. 
We have OtterBox Cases; mine is Pink over a white phone. I have loaded pictures into the Gallery.... "SWOOSH!" and there they are. Voila'!
Ringtones from my former-fone were easy to move over. I love the size; it fits so nicely into my grasp. So much less likely to drop the thing when I have 5 things in my hands and easier to find in the bottom of my purse.  And, it has a car mount that fits into the air vent in the car.  Cool!
This phone may replace my desire to hold a map....I can just hold the phone! I could be even more dangerous.
The service is Verizon, so the reception up here will be much better, and nation-wide, too, as I have read. 
For the contact photos, I have selected the most beautiful and handsome for each of you.  So, if you are worried about the photo I have for you, best get one sent my way!  Hershey has a cute one for her contact (Vet, Grooming, etc. hahaha), and you should, too. No, she does not talk on the phone, but, could the voice activated mechanism translate doggie into southern?  
The phone calendar syncs to my Google Calendar and to my Google+ Account. I have no excuses!  This should be fun.
As Jana stated, local numbers will sit much better with the constituants, since Marvin is on the ballot for City Council.  Jana suggests I might be First Lady of Rector City Council - might be a stretch!    Marvin Gatewood for City Council, Pos#2
If I look in my rear view mirror, I will probably see this Pink Fone, trying to sneak up on me, looming larger than I might have imagined.

The Candidate, 2012

     Robert Redford starred in the 1972 movie, The Candidate, a great movie wherein an unknown political newbie emerges to win an election over the corrupt establishment.  I remember being so taken with both Robert Redford and the movie that when The Senator was playing out at the Mall of Memphis, nothing would do but that we attend!  Yes, the showing was a late show, but that did not garner any special attention.  Yes, we were among about 50 people standing in line to get in.  Yes, I did get "carded."  I know I am a young looking chick, but really.  Even in New Orleans at Pete Fountains at age 17, I did not get carded.  Hmmmm.  This is most unusual, I thought.
    The Senator was an X or XXX rated movie that showed me far more flesh than I could take in.  The movie scenes on the deck of a yacht had me covering my eyes.  "We've got to go!" I said, begging to leave.  "It'll get better," he said.  "Yeah, but what do you mean by better, that's what I want to know!"

        Today, 40 years later, I am married to The Candidate, my version of Robert Redford.  Marvin has filed for Position 2 in the West Ward of the City of Rector for City Council.  Election Day:  November 6, 2012.  That's exciting.  Does this mean that I need a new wardrobe since I am the wife of the candidate?  Is this a call for Extreme Shopping? Marvin said he thought it important to immediately start kissing babies.
              I told him that was OK, as long as they were wearing diapers!