Sugar Lovers Go Cold Turkey

              Imagine Buddy the Elf’s startled look as he chows down on a whole roll of Toll-House cookie dough. His reply to the FDA and their findings regarding sugar and health might be surrounded in a cloud of…cotton candy. He’d find a way to smile through the upstart suggestion that Americans “cut back on sugar.”

The Food and Drug Administration has gotten well into the sweet-toothed consumer’s business now. Cutting back on fats came first. Cutting back on carbs came next. Cutting calories, cutting red meat, cutting this, that, and the other. Now, it’s sugar.

            Empty calories like empty words may fill a void, but are not satisfying and the body knows it. With few nutrients and few real, meaningful calories, added sugar, such as sugars that are in soda, fills a body for a brief time, but evaporates like a puff of smoke, leaving the consumer unsatisfied.

            Grandma’s secret ingredient for whipping up the best green beans is not really a secret: she adds a “pinch” or two, or three, or more of sugar. No wonder her vegetables are such a hit with the family; even the kids will eat Granny’s green beans.

            Thanksgiving dinner is past and Christmas treats’ aromas lurk around the next bend. Kitchens are busy places; holiday chefs don festive aprons and whop up family recipes of cookies, brownies, candy, and treats designed to satisfy Santa and all his elves.

Health conscious cooks buy low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb, sugar substitutes, all in an effort to satisfy the craving for delicious confections. However, low on one side means high on the other side. Low-fat is laden with sugar.  Low-sugar bursts with fat grams. There is no win, it seems.

            With a picture of fruit on the packaging, one would assume the product contains fruit with its natural sugar content. Drat it all! Fooled, again. Just because a picture is on the label, don’t count on there being much fruit; instead, the strawberry yogurt is loaded with added sugar so the taste will be palatable. Same with fruity drinks, fruity cookies, dried fruit, fruit cocktail, and the like.

            It’s healthier, of course, to cut back on added sugars. Our heart health demands that we sit up, pay attention, and make changes. So, what’s a good Southerner, those of us with a seldom-satisfied sweet tooth, to do? We will look for other ways to satisfy sweet cravings.

            Perhaps humming songs from Mary Poppins would help. She recommends keeping a spoonful of sugar handy to make the medicine go down. Another remedy would be to make sure the kiddos and grandkiddos are around so they can fulfil the request to “gimme some sugar!” An over-abundance of affectionate terms like “Sugar” might spill from the lips of strangers who are not flirting, but who are in the throes of sugar deprivation and crave to speak the word at every opportunity. Perhaps listening to oldie, goldie tunes such as “Sugar, Sugar” or “Sugar Shack” could supply the satisfaction.

            Cutting back on sugar might be impossible, especially as the candy-cane season approaches. Watching the movie Elf is the only solution. Everyone knows that Buddy is addicted to sugar. He says, "We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup." He pours maple syrup onto his spaghetti. With a flask of “yes, there’s sugar in syrup” kept with him at all times, concealed up the sleeve of his green, fur trimmed coat, Buddy’s antics provide sugar-sensory overload, a sure-fire remedy for sugar cravings. After watching Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf, sugar-lovers will head toward the refrigerator for cold turkey.