A Somewhat 'Modest Proposal' with Apologies to Jonathan Smith, 1729

            In the check-out line at the local grocery, the lady ahead of me watched as our cashier scanned and bagged purchases totaling an even $16.00.  “Wow,” she remarked, “how often does that happen?”
            I replied, “You should get a prize, especially since that is not only an even amount, it’s 1600.”
             She agreed immediately; we conversed briefly.
             I was speaking with the paragon of American History knowledge in this local community, the local American history teacher, Belinda Matheny.  She’s also the best cook in the county and bakes pecan pies that go for $50 at auction.  And, chocolate rolls.  Just saying.

            Checking out at Walgreens that morning, my total on the register: $14.92. Of course, I tried (!) to be clever and cute, engaging the young cashier in some friendly banter. It was early.  No one was behind me.
             “My goodness,” I said to the barely-19 year-old cashier, “there should be confetti and balloons!”
              “Huh?”  I need not say whose remark that was.

              “I should get a prize, or an extra bonus buck or something on my Walgreens card.”
              “What?”  A hugely quizzical look from the same spokesperson as before.
               “My total is a famous date in American History, '14 hundred and 92….Columbus Sailed the Ocean Blue.’ Let’s Celebrate. My purchase is free, how about that?”
               “I can’t help you, Ma’m.  I’m just the cashier.  You’ll have to speak to a manager.” No emotion.  Dead-pan. Serious.

              I’m sure she meant that ‘she could not help me’ in numerous ways. (Crazy person at Register 1)

             After speaking with Mrs. Matheny (Her students roll their eyes, “She’s at it again.”), I determined that those of us old enough to actually remember and even have experienced some of America's  history must act to save the country and preserve the world’s "name that date" balance in respect for all that is Holy.
                    We don’t need Superman, or Wolverine, or Spiderman.  We need Amazon, I-Tunes, Facebook, and Candy Crunch Saga.

Herein is a ‘somewhat modest proposal.’
                Instead of scolding the clueless on their ignorance regarding important dates in American History, let’s reward them when they look up from their I-Phones, stop their thumbs from texting for 5 seconds, and allow their eyes to reflect that someone is at home and recognize that they are not the only ones breathing air on the planet. The proposal utilizes the reward system through various current hot commodities: Amazon with “Prime” points, credits, fabulous trips and extra lives or boosters or tokens for favorite  on-line games.
          The reward system should be employed as a tool for good. We must remember, this very-much-younger generation is being raised by our high self-esteemed children who received trophies if they signed-up for competitive breathing, sitting on the bench.  We are the baby-boomer parents who bought those trophies and have boxes of them saved in our attics.

       Imagine the thrill today’s youth might experience when the dollar total registered anywhere between $18.61 and $18.65, or for the sake of the economy, $1861.00-$1865.00. The informed youth could wildly exclaim, “Hey, I think that dollar amount has something to do with the American Civil War, often called the War Between the States, ending when General Robert E. Lee surrendered to

General Ulysses S. Grant inside a private residence at Appomattox Court House, Virginia.” POW! As many as 10 extra lives, one for each detailed tidbit of correct historical information!  A universally significant dollar amount ($17.76 or $1776.00 - you get the picture) accompanied by a spewing forth of factual augmentation would result in a bigger prize, such as thousands of tokens or super-duper super powers.

 

                  Let us then be up and doing, asking not what our country can do for us, but with a heart for any fate, encouraging conversation about educating our youth using cash register receipts or totals contained in on-line Carts.  Gone would be “No Child Left Behind” with Federal oversight.  Bye-bye to math homework, as students would compute their rewards in record speed.  American history teachers’ classes would be filled with students clamoring, begging for information.  It would be a revolution, with consumer-youth now knowledgeable, still spending, and now competing for prizes celebrating their superior knowledge. The nation would be engaged in online conversations and even adults would post to their Facebook Wall as a life event occurred, such as "My grandchild's Cart amount was $19.63 today."  Their friend might respond,  "I like that comment and I'll raise you a $19.69."

               As potentially successful as this ‘somewhat modest proposal’ might seem, it could be taken to yet another level. Should America’s youth purchase a Sonic milkshake or an APP on specific Day/Dates in History, and should they actually recognize the date and acknowledge its significance, fabulous prizes like those on The Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune would be awarded.  Correctly identified purchase dates such as 12/7, 11/22, 9/11, 7/20, or 6/6 would set off celebrations, and with the correct answer rendered within 5 seconds, exotic cruises, concert tickets, box seat tickets for the Final Four or Super Bowl would be awarded.

                 Since so little progress has been made in finding motivational strategies for today’s youth, this ‘somewhat modest proposal’ could make significant progress in elevating our nation’s educational strategy from a “dumbing-down” apparition to an upscale presence with Facebook proportions.  Local school boards that adopt this proposal would find their budgets flush since student learning would be financed by Amazon, GEICO’s gecko, Apple, I-Tunes, Facebook, and Candy Crush Saga.  

Answers:             

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue – the Address of the White House
July 4, 1776 – The United States’ Declaration of Independence Signed by representatives in the Continental Congress at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania….and thus, the revolution began.
1963 – Assassination of John F Kennedy in Dallas, TX
1969 – Man landed on the Moon (Sea of Tranquility)
Dec. 7 – Pearl Harbor attacked by nation of Japan, FDR addresses Nation, states Day that will live in Infamy
Nov. 22 – President Kennedy (JFK) fatally shot
Sept. 11 – Twin Towers attacked and ultimately destroyed by suicide terrorists in hijacked commercial airliners.
July 20 – Man lands on the Moon
June 6 – D-Day – Invasion of Normandy
July, 2013 - Jane signed on to Facebook, and daily life was never the same.