Camping vs. Vacationing: Polar Opposites

            When my to-be-husband and I began to date, I thought it best to be up-front and crystal-clear about a few things, give him the short version. He had asked, “How’d you like to drive over to Hardy this fall? The leaves will be beautiful there.”

            “I’d love that. Before we go any further, though, I must tell you: I don’t camp.”

            “Did I say anything about camping?”

            “Just in case you wondered, or would consider it someday. I do not camp,” I repeated.

 I do love the beauty of nature, but my strength lies in communion for short bursts of time. When the weather is too hot or too cold or there’s a Bigfoot encounter, I’m done.  I told him, “I sleep inside a nice room in a well-respected hotel. Truth be told, I’m a Girl Scout drop-out.”

           

I do admire those who enjoy camping. The aura of the whole thing has me wishing, sometimes, that I did enjoy it. I’ve been known to get caught up in the campfire light, the Kum-Ba-Yah moment. The beauty of the starlit night with s’mores can turn a girl’s head. Come bedtime, though, I’m homeward bound or in misery, certain that creepy-crawly things are doing their creeping and crawling up my legs or into my hair.

            I’d consider an RV trip in a motor home, like the ones featured on The Travel Channel. Camping in one of those vehicles is the ideal definition of camping – not being at home, not being in a hotel, eating a camp-fire roasted weenie inside a bun. Throw in a couple of s’mores and a bed, pull up the covers and snuggle down in an air-conditioned, potty-included house on wheels, and I’m good. I have called myself a naturalist in one sense: a natural mosquito magnet and a natural spider stomper.

            Should I happen upon an article about camping, one that contains a serene, gorgeous lake-view campsite photograph, I’d peruse it. I did that lately and found fifty-one tips or reminders for novice and experienced campers with eight specialty tips for camping with children. Given this extensive list, I’d suggest camping and vacationing are polar opposite adventures.

            Tips for vacationing include: 1. Make a reservation at an All-Inclusive Resort, 2. Pack appropriate clothing and beachwear, accessories for day and evening, 3. Tuck in a paperback beach-read plus a shopping/touring guide, and 4. Forget your worries – Be Happy.

            Tips for camping include: 1. Make sure the camp ground is open, 2. Don’t pack many clothes because they will smell like the campfire and you’ll wear the same ones over again, 3. Take a hefty tent with a patch kit, a first-aid kit, shovel, lighters, channel-lock pliers, leather gloves, hats, sunscreen, insect repellent, and a portable table. 4. Make all meal preparations prior to leaving home. Mom should chop, slice, dice, package, and prepare the cooler. Even if Dad serves tacos every night, with beef cooked over an open flame, preparation is the key.

            The ultimate deterrent to any camping adventure would be the unexpected, the unplanned encounter. With the possibility of unexpected rain or heavy Arkansas humidity, and the certainty of no Wi-Fi, no amount of bug spray, Skin-So-Soft, or marshmallows and graham crackers will lure me into befriending varmints.

            The camper tips that spoke to the heart of the matter are these:  1. Put coolers and trash inside your vehicle at night so critters (!) won’t bother either, and 2. Keep tent flaps zipped. Whether you are inside or outside, secure the tent. Insects (!) and snakes (!!) don’t know how to work a zipper.