Fit IN does not mean Fit INSIDE

            The question remains, “Will skinny jeans make me skinny?”  Or to amplify, might a pair of super-skinny jeans rearrange my body, squashing the bottom portion upward, suggesting an illusion of a skinny hip and thigh with a suddenly voluptuous bosom?

            Several weeks ago, I attended a fall fashion show which showcased long sweaters, chunky jewelry, Big Budda bags, and skinny jeans. 

“She wears this festive top paired with skinny jeans,” the announcer repeated enough to cause me to ponder the skinny-jean question once again. Hmmm.

            High-fashion jewelry and a dramatic hair style move the eye from bottom to top. The eye will admire the flashy decoration, but (pun intended), the eye always travels back to the bottom, especially if the jean-wearer is about to explode from a buttoned and zippered denim fabric girdle.

            I’ve often pondered the sane person’s judgment in taking outdoor living to the extreme: why would a person want to bake a potato in the ground if a good oven is available. The same logic is beyond me when a larger-than-life diva asks, “Do y’all carry skinny jeans in my size?”

            Not only are these jeans more expensive (duh! heavy-duty material and more of it), the price is meant to discourage the purchase. In size 6, skinny jeans cost $26, but in size “Too Big,” the price is $46. The price tag screams, “You SHOULD NOT purchase these jeans.”  Someone needs to save us from ourselves and our desire to “fit in.”  "Fit in" does not mean “fit inside” the jeans that are meant for a small framed young lady who has not yet experienced the pull of gravity.

I prefer Chico’s size chart.  When in my life did I wear a 1 or a 2? 

As a toddler, maybe!  “What size, Honey?”  “Oh, I wear a ONE!” Whoo-hoo! Chico’s has a line of slimming jeans that is cut for the older diva. They sell sweaters and tops that are not meant to be dresses. They do not sell leggings.

When I am tempted to buy a pair of skinny jeans, I look into the Magic Mirror and a vision chants the alarming truth, “Dearie, You might have the fairest front in all the land, but have you looked behind you lately?”