We saw more wildlife than I would have imagined. 

Antelope, Bison, Elk, Wolf, and a Raven. I’d never actually seen a Raven.  A crow, a vulture, an eagle, yes, but a Raven? Never had I come up close and personal with that bird of ancient lore. But, I spent 10 days with one.

While I can exclaim the marvels of this trip over and over again, in the same sentence, I can mutter: “Nevermore.”  Out here, out West, in the Yellowstone area, at the front of our tour bus, this particular Raven is a Raven-Lunatic.

Our tour guide personifies the Raven-Lunatic. We won’t be doing this kind of bus-adventure again anytime soon, and not ever again with The Raven.  We believe in The Mama’s and the Papa’s version of travel:  “Go where you wanna go; Do what cha’ wanna do, With whomever you wanna to do it with…”

The Raven is “certifiable.” By definition, a tour guide should ‘guide.’  She needed guidance, herself, “bless her heart.”  She guided us to McDonalds and Wal-Mart.  I kid you not.  Lunch on your own – the bus with 50 people pulls up to McDonalds. She refers to it as a “squat and gobble.”Yick. 

If we weren’t parked at McDonalds, she was getting the bus driver to pull in at Wal-Mart, because she forgot a jacket.  Another Wal-Mart in another town to exchange said jacket and get another size.  Really. Had it not been for the bus driver and his wife, the “tourists” would have exhumed Frank and Jesse James and considered Murder for Hire.

On the flip side of the coin, all pre-paid meals presented a cruise-ship amount of food that was delicious and filling.  And, we traveled to sites we would never have discovered were it not for our bus driver and his wife who orchestrated the trip to a large degree. We saw it all – unless the snow, rain, or clouds covered the opportunity. Still, it was beautiful USA and I would not have missed it for the world. The adventure was terrific, and I finally just quit listening to The Raven, regardless of what she “quoth-ed.”

As long as Bossy Bertha keeps her cool and speaks in a calm voice, “Make a legal U-turn…,” we will drive ourselves and create our own Fly and Drive Fall Foliage or Pacific Northwest Tours.  I hold a map really well and USA’s open highways and gorgeous landscapes lure us to explore from sea to shining sea.