"What's This Cute Little Room, Dear?"

       Statistics show that the Kitchen is the most deadly room in the house.  Not just for the turkey, but for humans who are either clumsy or prone to run-ins with butcher knives.  “Chicago” (Cellblock Musical) lyrics for “He Had It Coming” intone that “he ran into my knife--- 10 times!”
       Pesky utensils such as potato peelers, kitchen scissors, paring knives, or Pampered Chef Choppers should carry Warning Labels declaring the implement to be one of “mega-mass destruction” or certainly a boast a warning similar to that of the Surgeon General regarding hazards to the health.  Scalding water and flaming skillets…..the Smoke Alarm should not signal that dinner is ready!
       Another potential hazard I recently discovered: what about Aluminum Foil?  Aluminum Foil can deliver a wound that necessitates cleaning with water, cloth, perhaps a kiss, and definitely a Band-aid.  Blood appeared, Neosporin+PainRelief was applied, and the tender area was covered to speed healing. No sling was necessary, however. When using the premium quality Aluminum Foil, exercise caution around unmarked, sharp edges.  Not only is there no warning label forbidding Microwave use, but there are no arrows, no “do not touch” notations, nothing to clarify for the consumer: Beware of Aluminum Foil edges. They can cut, possibly disfigure or maim. Amateurs should avoid not only the foil itself, but the boxed razor-toothed edge, also.
        Cooking, in and of itself, brings opportunity for creativity, but does not come without hazard, without risk.  Does your family recognize the risk you take daily when you enter the kitchen to prepare a meal?  Hazard Pay should be negotiated!  Or, as those Germantown Housewives are prone to do – just “make reservations!”